Tobi Discovers Fanfiction
by Autumn D. Cain
Summary: Tobi was bored, so he decided to read fanfiction. Unfortunately, this leads to the whole Akatsuki jumping him...


Tobi was bored, so bored that he had resorted to using a computer, even though he didn't know how. It was weird, being so bored that you turn to the thing that would least likely amuse you and instead turn you into a bored, agro person. And it was also weird that _The _Tobi was the one who was bored, even though he was the most hyper person out of all the Akatsuki's.

Tobi sighed, starring at the computer monitor, hoping that it would turn on magically.

But it didn't.

So he went over to Deidara, who seemed to be secretly watching and starring at a busy Sasori from behind a large plant. Deidara seemed to be so engrossed in Sasori making puppets that he hadn't realized Tobi, who was right behind him, breathing down his neck.

"TOBI…!" Deidara whispered harshly. "What the hell do you thing you're doing, scaring me from behind, Un?"

"I just wanted to ask you something, Deidara-senpai…" Tobi said. "Anyway, why are you watching Sasori-san make human puppets while hiding behind Zetsu-san?"

"I just wanted to-…wait, ZETSU, UN?!" Deidara was bewildered.

The 'plant' twitched once, then twice, and then it spun around and faced Deidara and Tobi. "…"

"Why were you here? Are you also stalking Sasori-danna, UN?!"

"No…it's just that there's a very clear view of Tobi from here…" Zetsu stared at Tobi, who inwardly shuddered.

"…Um, yeah, Zetsu, that was a BIT too much information for us…especially for Tobi, UN…"

"…" Zetsu didn't reply, he just continued staring at Tobi.

"Err, anyway, Deidara-senpai, could you on the computer for me…please?" Tobi pleaded, wanting to get out of Zetsu's sight.

"Okay, Un." Deidara walked towards the computer, turned it on and left.

Tobi sat on the computer chair and began thinking about what websites to explore. There was one website that an ex-victim of his was ranting about in a bar.

"I think it was called 'fanfiction'" Tobi nodded to himself and typed the website on the keyboard. Few seconds later, the homepage appeared. He clicked on 'Anime/Manga', curious on whether they had anything about his favourite manga 'Ouran High School Host Club'. Instead of clicking on said title, his eye caught the word 'Naruto'.

"Isn't that our target's name?" He muttered, clicking on the name. He looked at the search button, typed 'Tobi' and clicked on GO. The results of his search slightly surprised him.

There were list of stories containing him and Itachi or him and Deidara. There were even some that contained him and Hidan!

He clicked on one that was a pairing of him and Deidara, but he just thought that it was about a mission he recently did with Deidara. He read the contents and his brain slowly registered what was happening in the story, but his mind abruptly stopped when he read the first sentence of the next paragraph.

"_I'm going mark you as mine, Tobi. With or against your will, I WILL have you!" And with that, Deidara pinned Tobi to the bed, kissing him furiously. He slowly took off Tobi's clothes and started having his way with him. Tobi could only whimper and scream during the whole time. _

Tobi couldn't take in the information anymore…so he screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

Itachi and Hidan, who were the closest ones to where Tobi was, stopped whatever they were doing and looked over at Tobi, who was curled up underneath the computer table.

Hidan arched a brow. "Does he have Cyberphobia now?"

"Since when did you learn that word? I thought your head was filled with too much fantasies of pleasuring your god sexually that you couldn't absorb anymore information…" Itachi answered bluntly.

"Oh shut the fuck up, Pretty Boy…" Hidan cursed.

Itachi shrugged and walked over to a still curled up Tobi. He raised a brow curiously at Tobi, expecting an answer but Tobi just whimpered in reply. He sat on the chair and looked at the computer. At first his expression was bored but it had slowly turned into an amused, menacing and sadistic grin. Hidan stood behind Itachi and also read what was on the monitor.

He then laughed out loud. "WHAT THE FUCK IS DEIDARA DOING?! THAT IS HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHA…!"

Itachi stood up abruptly and walked over to Deidara. He nudged the blonde to follow him to the computer. Deidara just shrugged and followed Itachi.

Tobi, who had spotted Deidara, instantly scampered towards the corner of the room. Deidara glanced curiously at the frightened Tobi.

"Did you guys do something to the idiot, UN?" Deidara asked the two.

"Actually, in a way, you're the one that scared him and did SOMETHING to him…" Itachi pointed at the computer screen and Deidara began to read. His expression soon turned into shocked and surprisingly, the most hilarious face ever!

"WHAT…THE…HELL…!"

Kakuzu came at once, followed by a sleepy Kisame.

"What happened?" Kisame asked.

"Blonde Biatch tried to ass-rape Tobi…" Hidan cackled.

"…" Kisame stared.

"But Tobi is right over there in the corner with his clothes on…" Kakuzu said.

"Just read this and you'll understand." Itachi pointed at the monitor.

The two of them read then laughed out loud when they reached the point about the rape part.

Tobi glared at everybody through his mask. "Stop laughing at my rape scene!"

"Yeah, stop laughing! Anyway, WHY THE HELL WAS I RAPING THE IDIOT?!"

"Well…" Itachi scrolled down the screen. "It seems that you got jealous of Zetsu hanging around Tobi all the time, so you decided to rape him to claim him as yours. And look, in the end, Tobi is actually a masochist and begs you to sleep with him again."

"…" Everybody stared warily at Deidara. Tobi whimpered louder.

"Ah, wait, there's another story and it's about Tobi and Hidan…" Itachi clicked the mouse and began reading. He then chuckled softly. "Hidan, did you know that you have stored sexual urges towards Tobi and you let it all out when you accidentally walked in on him showering? And while you screwed with him, Tobi had learned many of your famous words…"

Tobi now sobbed and covered his ears.

"…Fuck you!" Hidan pushed Itachi and scrolled down the screen. He stopped when he came across a story about Itachi and Tobi. He read it and grinned like a maniac. "Why, Itachi-Bitch, I didn't know that you always found Tobi as a worthy fuck toy…You blackmailed Tobi and fucked him senseless every night…"

Itachi paled. Tobi's cries grew louder. He had heard it because Hidan spoke out loudly.

"So…3 of our Akatsuki's have an interest in Tobi and they all sleep with him in the stories?" Kakuzu raised a brow.

"Yeah, but there are more which includes Tobi and Zetsu, Tobi and Kisame, you and Tobi, Leader-sama and Tobi and lastly, Sasori-danna and Tobi..." Deidara read out loud to Kakuzu.

Tobi instantly screamed and ran away from the group, possibly on his way to his room and planning to lock himself in there.

"Why isn't Konan part of the pairings?" Kisame asked. He was slightly amused at what was happening.

"Wait, Konan has a threesome with Tobi and Leader-sama…" Kakuzu said, reading off the list. "This one says that Konan loved both Tobi and Leader-sama…and Leader-sama loved both Tobi and Konan. In the end, they have a threesome against Tobi's will…"

"Almost all of the stories are about Tobi getting raped." Zetsu said, suddenly appearing from behind Kakuzu. "Tobi looks much more delicious in these stories…" He licked his lips. _**"Yes, Tobi looks very delicious in those stories…I wonder if he tastes the same in real life…"**_ Zetsu walked away with a predatory grin on his face.

"Well that was just fucking creepy…" Hidan said out loud.

"Tobi should be careful because in this story, Zetsu and Tobi get locked in a broom closet. The green freak takes advantage and screws him…twice, UN" Deidara said and clicked on something. "Um, Kakuzu, in this story, why did you pay Tobi to be your personal strip dancer, UN…?"

"…"

"And this one is about Tobi accidentally asking Kisame what orgasm means…and Kisame demonstrates…"

"…" Kisame gaped like a fish.

"Ooh, Sasori-danna ambushes Tobi in his room because he was dared to by…me?" Deidara looked shocked.

"You know, I've been wondering, is Tobi that sexy to make the whole Akatsuki rape him?" Itachi asked.

"He does have that most awesome black hair…" Deidara said with hearts in his eyes.

"And he has the cutest right eye…" Kisame said dreamily.

Everybody started daydreaming about Tobi.

Pein, Konan and Sasori came into the room where the Akatsuki's looked off distantly. That all raised a brow and shrugged, walking to the computer. Sasori read the story about him ambushing Tobi and raping him. He was very amused.

"Interesting…I should try that tonight…" Sasori muttered inaudibly.

Pein and Konan peeked behind and read the other story about the threesome against Tobi's will. They were also amused.

"An addition to our relationship should spice up our sex life…" Pein said.

"Yes, Tobi is hot anyway…" Konan said.

Itachi, who was the first one to snap out of his wet daydreams, glanced at the 3 who were on the computer. "Are you guys planning to rape Tobi too?"

"Yes, are you guys going to do it too?"

"Yeah…" All of the Akatsuki's answered. They paused and looked around at each other.

"We ALL can't do Tobi tonight and I'm definitely not having a 10 Member Orgy…" Hidan scoffed.

"Wait…I have an idea…" Itachi smirked.

--

**o.0**

**One of the reasons why I wrote this fic is because I needed an excuse to make Hidan call Deidara "Blonde Biatch…" **

**Poor, poor Tobi…**

**I think I was too mean to him...**

**BUT THIS IS SO FUN!**


End file.
